Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
