Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I touched a dick in church today
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
