sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
