it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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