Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
