I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
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my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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