Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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