You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
