roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize