I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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