She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
