I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
