When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I will be naked everywhere
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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