My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
