I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
