It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
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the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick