I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂