the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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