Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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