Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
