i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
