I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
