3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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