Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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