He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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