I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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