i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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