You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
