Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
