So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
