True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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