i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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