I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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