Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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