doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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