im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
