I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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