shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
only you would photoshop your dick
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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