Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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