So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
