I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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