well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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