I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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