New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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