im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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