i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
