do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
