is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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