why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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