If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
