Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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