We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize