She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
