A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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