I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
