Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
