I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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