in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
